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A fat lady asked her bf what she looked like..
the boy replied: "you look like a GOD." the fat lady smiled.. Giggled and blushed then asked" Sinung GOD? Aphrodite? Venus? who? The boy looked deeply in her eyes.. touched her belly and said.. "Buddha".--- DURING the EXAM:
TEACHER: bakit puro RED HORSE ang sagot mo? Apo_niLOLO: dahil “ITO ANG TAMA!” BWAHAHAHa BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices? Stewardess: Yes or No. |
Si Don Pedro nag pacheckup sa doctor kasi highblood sia. Sinabi ng Doctor na wag na siyang kakain ng matataba tulad ng baboy at balat ng manok. Dapat kumain na lang sia ng� mga lumalangoy tulad ng isda. Pagkatapos ng isang buwan bumisita ang Doctor kay Don Pedro. Tinanong ng Doctor yung katulong kung saan si Don Pedro. Sinabi ng katulong na nasa swimming pool si Don Pedro. Sabi ng Doctor: “ah nag eehersisyo sa paglangoy si Don Pedro”. Katulong: “D po, tinuturuan yung baboy na lumangoy”.
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Boy1: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita ang picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!
Boy2: Tinawag mo akong hipopotamus!
Boy1: Last year pa yon! Tarantado!
Boy2: Eh kanina ko lang nakita ang picture ng hippopotamus, bobo!
Boss: Why should we hire you?
Tikyo: Mas mabuti po ang bagong tulad ko dahil wala pang sungay. Boss: English please. Tikyo: Well, you see, uh, I'm brand new so I'm not yet horny! |
Ice cream ba talaga yung inendorse in Pacquiao sa TV ad nya na Nestle
Ice Cream? Akala ko kasi, softdrinks. Kasi, sabi nya, "Oh mga bata, Mirinda na!" |
Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula
ngayon, huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo? Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako. |
JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!
Laughter is the Best Medicine
You have probably heard the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Many medical studies show that laughter has both physical and mental benefits, but in today’s fastpaced stressful world, there is definitely a lack of laughter. People get so caught up in the have-to’s and should-do’s that they forget to lighten up. Laughter and humor are two powerful tools that can help people cope and get through threatening situations. Looking at life’s situations with a sense of humor and laughter provides perspective and helps keep things in balance when life seems unfair.
jamie cartas http://fast2earn.com/_41857.htm